Lou's Blog Ver.2.0: 2006

Just thought I'd send out a Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. For those traveling be safe, for those at home enjoy and be thankful for what you got. Remember no matter how bad or how little you think you have to be thankful for there are a whole lot of people out there who have it worse than you.

Here's a holiday movie pick

. It came recommended to me some time ago and some has become one of my Turkey Day picks. It's by Barry Levinson and it's the story of a family of Eastern European Jewish immigrants to the United States who settle in Baltimore, Maryland, at the beginning of the 20th century. Avalon explores the themes of assimilation and how modernity has changed American family life. Anyway if you can get a hold of it check it out I think you'll approve of it.

Gobble gobble indeed.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Links for 2006-11-21 [del.icio.us]

Link - Permalink - published Wed, 22 Nov 2006

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Links for 2006-11-20 [del.icio.us]

Link - Permalink - published Tue, 21 Nov 2006

Ghetto Fried Chicken

The Fast Food Hierarchy of Ghetto Fried Chicken :

It's a simple chart to follow. There are the big four.

1 .
KFC - The Granddaddy of them all. Formed during the Great depression the first actual outlet was opened in 1952. This is most reputable of the fried chicken joints. They officially changed their name to KFC in 1991 in an attempt to move away from the bad connotation of "Fried" and because their menu was continuing to expand beyond chicken. Also, KFC is a lot easier to spell and say. Col. Harland Sanders isn't such a bad guy. He wanted to bring chicken to the masses.Currently I believe Pepsico owns KFC. Found in the cities and the burbs there is very little risk in going to a KFC. I recommend the sides. However, just so you know it has some ghetto credentials there has been controversy surrounding the chain. PETA in conjunction with Pamela Anderson are constantly downing on the Col. and his secret recipes. But overall its not so bad, and it's huge in China.

My favorite tidbit : Japanese baseball team Hanshin Tigers is thought to be under the Curse of the Colonel, a curse coming from when an enthusiastic fan threw a store-front statue of Colonel Sanders into a local canal during a celebration for the Tigers victory in the 1985 Japan Series. The curse says that the Tigers will not win again until the statue is recovered.

2.

Ok now we're getting a little more ghetto. Church's chicken is sold out of the back door of White Castle. At least where I'm from. Their food has an asshole avalanche factor of about a three. It may feel the good at the moment of consumption but by the next morning you'll be clutching your ankles and praying to a merciful god. Put it this way their signature sauce is called "Purple Pepper Sauce." And for dessert you can get a fried apple pie. Yeah, they fry everything. How do you know its ghetto? Well in Puerto Rico alone, there are over 70 restaurants on the island. Still not ghetto enough, it's owned by Arcapita an Islamic venture group. The president? Hala Moddelmog. As of last year their murder per restaurant was down 17% for about 1 per every three outlets. But they have a really
slick website.

3. Popeye's, a close second to Church's. Formed in New Orleans you know it's got some ghetto charm. Debates rage if it named after the loveable std ridden sailor or the heroin addicted Popeye Doyle from the French Connection 2. They go with the more Cajun feel to their chicken and your ass will not be thankful. Once, stuck in a bad neighborhood after a concert I had some Popeye's. Asshole avalanche factor of a 6. I was on the throne immediately after getting off the subway. Highlights of the menu include the Crawfish Po-boy, and their Mardi Gras cheesecake which looks like someone ground up the Joker and sprinkled over some toilet paper cheesecake. In 2005, a Popeye's was mistaken for a liquor/check cashing store and was held up thrice in the same night. Don't forget to check out the site where you can get free ring tones. Seafood man, they serve "seafood."

4.
Kennedy Fried Chicken. Straight up, I've bought drugs in Kennedy Fried Chicken.
I've seen two rapes, several assaults, one baby birth and a dead homeless guy at the KenFC in Coney Island. Here's what I found out about it :

Kennedy Fried Chicken is the name for many restaurants in the New York City area and elsewhere in the northeastern United States that are located mostly in inner city neighborhoods. The restaurants which traditionally are owned and operated by immigrants from Afghanistan are not formally connected although their menus and prices are similar. This lack of centralized control has posed problems for Kentucky Fried Chicken which since the 1990s has tried to enforce trademark rules against the restaurants which often use the KFC abbreviation and have been known to decorate their restaurants in red and white colors, similar to Kentucky Fried Chicken's logo. Food at many of the inner city restaurants is served from behind bulletproof glass. Its specialties are its deep fried chicken (described as "not too dry or too soggy") as well as burgers, hot wings, ice cream and sweet potato pies. Given its inner city roots, chicken and food is quite often ordered ala carte one piece at a time. Kennedy's has an asshole avalanche factor of a 10+. instantaneous greased up owl shit searing through your intestines. I recommend the one in Coney Island. It features an abandoned donut shop area with petrified pastries, perpetual garbage swirling around your feet and everything is bolted down. Everything. You ain't in the ghetto unless you got a Kennedy's Fried Chicke

Monday, November 20, 2006

Book #17 One Hundred Years of Solitude By Gabriel Garcia Marquez

So in light of recent a recent book theft I've decided to start reading this book. It comes highly recommended. So far so good, I'm about 50 pages in.

Here's a wikipedia summary of it:
One Hundred Years of Solitude (Spanish: Cien años de soledad) is a novel by Gabriel García Márquez which was first published in Spanish in 1967 (Buenos Aires: Sudamericana), with an English translation by Gregory Rabassa released in 1970 (New York: Harper and Row). The book is considered García Márquez's masterpiece, metaphorically encompassing the history of Colombia. The novel chronicles a family's struggle, and the history of their fictional town, Macondo, for one hundred years. García Márquez acknowledges in his autobiography Living to Tell the Tale that Macondo was based on the towns where he spent his childhood.

I did not want to spoil the book but the entry is quite expansive, complete with a family tree which I'm sure will come in handy. Check out the details here.

I'm pretty pshyched about this read, it looks like it will be a good one. I'll keep ya posted. If anyone has read this I'd be interested to hear you thoughts.

Billy Bragg : Life's a Riot with Spy vs. Spy

I've been tooling around with some apps online and I've decide to try to post some music up here.
This weeks album is : Billy Bragg Life's a Riot with Spy Vs. Spy
Billy Bragg's first ep released in 1983 allmusic has called him a gruff Woodie Guthrie for the post punk generation.

Some notes on this album : Bragg's heavy Essex accent moderated a singing voice that was anything but operatic. Yet the singer's strident, passionate non-singing provided the perfect conduit for a suite of lyrics that matched polemic with romantic observation

About Billy (from allmusic) :Finding inspiration in the righteous anger of punk rock and the socially conscious folk tradition of Woody Guthrie and Bob Dylan, Billy Bragg was the leading figure of the anti-folk movement of the '80s. For most of the decade, Bragg bashed out songs alone on his electric guitar, singing about politics and love. While his lyrics were bitingly intelligent and clever, they were also warm and humane, filled with detail and wit. Even though his lyrics were carefully considered, Bragg never neglected to write melodies for songs that were strong and memorable. Throughout the '80s, he managed to chart consistently in Britain, yet he only gathered a cult following in America, which could be due to the fact that he sang about distinctly British subject matter, both politically and socially.... Read More...

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Birthday Info

Here's some facts about my birth.

My date of conception was on or about 23 July 1980 which was a Wednesday.
I was born on a Wednesdayunder the astrological sign Aries.Your Life path number is 11.

As of 11/19/2006 11:30:21 PM EST I am 25 years old. I am 307 months old. I am 1,336 weeks old. I am 9,349 days old. I am 224,399 hours old. I am 13,463,970 minutes old. I am 807,838,221 seconds old.

Celebrities who share my birthday:
Emma Watson (1990)
Emma Thompson (1959)
Claudia Cardinale (1939)
Roy Clark (1933)
Elizabeth Montgomery (1933)
Leon Schotter (1922)
Hans Conried (1917)
Bessie Smith (1894)
Henry James (1843)
Leonardo da Vinci (1452)

Top songs of 1981
Physical by Olivia Newton-John
Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes
Endless Love by Diana Ross & Lionel Richie
Arthur's Theme by Christopher Cross
Kiss On My List by Daryl Hall & John Oates
Jessie's Girl by Rick Springfield
I Love a Rainy Night by Eddie Rabbitt
9 to 5 by Dolly Parton
Private Eyes by Daryl Hall & John Oates
Rapture by Blondie

Anyway, if you' re curious go to this site and plug in you D.O.B.

Black Friday

Ok for those you suicidal enough to go shopping on "Black Friday" here are scans of circulars so you can browse from home. Also don't forget there are online discounts too. Here are some from CompUSA. I'm sure you can find some blank cd's or something to buy.

Book #12-16

Ok So I haven't updated the books that I've read recently on here. Unfortunately time constraints and the fact that life gets in the way has keep me from discussing these and will keep me from discussing these. However, here are the books I have not posted, feel free to send me any comments and I'll be happy to talk about them.

This is a great collection of short stories. A glimpse into where Bukowski started the stories, even the ones that fail, can be haunting and surreal.

From Library Journal
In her splendid new work, Erdrich retrieves characters from her first novel, Love Medicine , to depict the escalating conflict between two Chippewa families, a conflict begun when hapless Eli Kashpawwho has passionately pursued the fiery, elemental Fleur Pillageris made to betray her with young Sophie Morrissey through the magic of the vengeful Pauline. That simple summary belies the richness and complexity of the tale, told in turn to Fleur's estranged daughter by her "grandfather," the wily Nanapush, and by Pauline, a woman of mixed blood and mixed beliefs soon to become the obsessive Sister Leopolda. As the community is eroded from withoutby white man's venalityand from within, even Fleur must realize that "power goes under and gutters out." Not so for Erdrich, whose prose is as sharp, glittering, and to the point as cut glass. Highly recommended

Haruki Murakami is a master of subtly disturbing prose. Mundane events throb with menace, while the bizarre is accepted without comment. Meaning always seems to be just out of reach, for the reader as well as for the characters, yet one is drawn inexorably into a mystery that may have no solution. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle is an extended meditation on themes that appear throughout Murakami's earlier work. The tropes of popular culture, movies, music, detective stories, combine to create a work that explores both the surface and the hidden depths of Japanese society at the end of the 20th century. Talk about a surreal novel, this one takes the cake. I'm still perplexed about it.

"Brilliant and poignant...By his compassion, clarity of insight and crystal-bright prose, he makes Rabbit's sorrow his and our own."
--The Washington Post
Ok, now I thought the book was just OK. I've seen it considered a masterpiece. It was good, a bit slow for my taste but worth reading even if just for you to draw your own conclusion that it may be overrated.

As an ardent fan of Bukowski and Henry Chinaski, this by far is my favorite book by Buk. If you haven't read any Bukowski but always wanted to, this is perhaps a great place to start. It's a series of short stories that give you a taste for Buk's writing. You'll either love him or hate him. There's no in between. But if you love this book, then you can look forward to many other fictional pieces by Buk that will delight you. Either that or after about three chapters you will want to go out and get drunk, or get laid! Enjoy!

So there you have it. Let me know your thoughts.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Wedding Time

Wedding time,
Or Wettin'
Either way I'm peacing out
It's going to be a good shit.

Congrats Serge, our very own Romanoff.

Monday, October 09, 2006

John Lennon - Yer Blues

Happy Birthday.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

WTF IS A BEARY TALES?

VS.

What the hell is a TJ BearyTales? Well apparently it's some kind of animatronic teddy bear that tells stories to kids who aren't loved enough by real sentients to be read a story. Yeah kid, you're such a waste that your parents won't even take the time to read you a story. That being said I liked this the first time I saw this in 1985 when it was called Teddy Ruxpin. When are people going to realize that some shit just doesn'tsell. The Teddy Ruxpin line has died like three times. The company that first started it went bankrupt in 1988. How many talking animals can the market sustain? Ruxpin is still around and now we have this young punk on the block TJ Beary Tales? I think TJ (short for turkey jiving) is going to get mashed out by Rough House Ruxpin. I liked when you abused the shit out of Teddy Ruxpin and he'd get that lazy eye like Biggie Smalls. He'd be all slurring because the tapedidn't play right. I want to see if TJ can perform under those conditions. I remember Teddy looking like the Terminator after a car wreck still telling his stories of the hood.

AnywayI hope this knockoff of a 20year old idea doesn't fly.I hope it malfunctions,catches fire and kills a couple of people, just to prove a point that you don't spit intothe wind, you don't tug on Superman's cape and you don't mess around with Ruxpin.

Speaking off old school toys, check out this little ditty I wrote about swag that was coolwhen I was a kid.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Seagal Facts Vol I

Ok so here's some facts you may not know about the legend known as Steven Seagal.

1. When not destroying puny mortals, he impersonates a priest and heals sick children.

2. One day a year he flies around the world in a single night delivering devastating body blows and black eyes to evil doers as they sleep.

3. He donates his free time, rather he kicks the ass of his free time into submission, by helping the elderly and afflicted.

4.If Steven Seagal fixes his gaze upon you for more three seconds you better thank him and move out of his way or else you only have 2 more seconds until your heart implodes.

5.Steven Seagal's armpits contain a poison gas that his appendix produces called Segalafoxicin that renders foes dazed and bloody.

6.Steven Seagal uses the martial arts technique of "looky here" before he strikes you with a devastating open palm attack known as a biff.

7.Steven Seagal stays healthy by eating a diet of wicked souls and grubs.

8.Steven Seagal does not like to be side eyed. Especially while driving.

9.Steven Seagal is sympathetic to the blind. He encourages blind children to toughen up and will themselves to see again.

10.Steven Seagal Loves Mardi Gras !

Fuck OFF T.O

When is this guy going to die already? We came close today. I can't stand T.O. I can't stand that I'm even writing about him. He went from a cocky big mouthed player who could back up his trash talk, to a flamboyant cry baby to a suicidal has been. For the uninitiated Owens may or may not have tried to kill himself today. I said "no way" the news reports are wrong, but then when I read what people were saying in his camp I realized it had snow job written all over it. Maybe he did try to off himself. I mean it makes sense, he makes millions of dollars, is a superstar in his own right, and is a hot commodity. I mean shit, if I had his problems I'd take a fist full of vicodin and wash it down with some draino.
I'm not going to rant about how these athletes make a ton of money, it's not my style and it usually doesn't bother me, but this guy takes the cake. He takes away from his sport. He is a club house cancer--and he's not even that good. Guys like him have no place in society let alone on a playing field and his antics today demonstrate that.
I guess they all have a bit of Clarett in them.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Swamps, sleep and Dominic

9:15 am. That how long it took until I got my first comment of the day at work this morning. Why even mention it? Because today was a classic. I got "Lou, you look like you crawled out of a swamp."

On a side note, I found out about Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome on wikipedia. Anyone who knows me, or has read my insomnia blog, can probably agree this is what I suffer from or at least suffered from at some point in my life. Take five minutes and read it. It explains alot, like as to why I hate getting up early, have an immunity to sleeping pills (as evidenced by my constant pontification on how I get a 'buzz' from RX sleeping pills), and stay up all freaking night.

On a side note, Dominic Griffin

what happened to you? You were one of my favorite real world cast members and certainly the chillest on Season 2 Los Angeles. Anyway I can't find anything on him. He never pops up on those dumb ass spin offs on MTV and you never hear him in the news. Now I know he had a habit of passing out drunk on the beach but I don't think he's dead yet. Last I heard he wrote music reviews and was a bartender. If you know where he is please contact me.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

A Lesson

A Lesson to all. A Lesson not to start drinking at 1 in the afternoon. Yes, I'm juvenile, but if you sleep on the job you're going to get hassled. Also, this is Vinny, the lowest form of life, again doing nothing to help his cause.

This is how I found him. "Vinny, what up?" No reply. Internal monologue : "Jesus, if Vinny really isn't dead and you're playing with me, I'm going to be pissed."

Well he was alive.
Apparently mid coitus or whatever the fuck it was he was doing with himself. I feel dirty just looking at this.

Shield your eyes ladies and gents. This corpse is bloated and abused. Too much sunning and too much boozing.

It may not look like it, but the corner of this table is the only thing holding this mess up.

Monday, September 18, 2006

A View From the Trough

Ok here's something else that annoys the shit out of me. Why do parents, especially mothers, find in necessary to feed their babies in public? I'm not even talking about breast feeding. I'm talking about regular, soylent green vegetable paste feeding. For Christ's Sake woman, this isn't a zoo, I'm listening to my walkman I don't need to be privy to this shit show feeding frenzy. I didn't buy a ticket for the face pasting party.

I'm in public, A place designed for the enjoyment and use of everyone. I don't want to deal with a smelly veggie puking crying mess. I witnessed a mother on the bus the other day. First off she struggles to even climb up the STEP onto the bus. She's got a brat on her hip, a ridiculous diaper bag, her hand bag and a stroller. She plops into her seat and then, while ensconced in all this clutter decides "this is a great time to feed my baby some sort of yogurt paste." You know what? The kid could wait. He looks like an extra 20 minutes isn't going to kill him, he's built like the Michelin Man and the back of his neck looks like a pack of hot dogs. See this is the behavior that these parents instill that 16 years later these kids think it's ok to eat an entire chicken dinner on the train.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Idiots

I always find the start of a weekend a time to reflect. A time to think about what the hell has happened in the past five days and what the hell I'm going to do for the next two. Here's some things to think about.

First off what movie to see this weekend?

The Black Dahlia, a story set in the 1940's about the real life murder of Elizabeth Short. Short came to Hollywood, destined to become a famous actress. However, her brutal murder in 1947 would make her famously known as 'The Black Dahlia' and would become a conspiracy and an obsession with all involved. Based on the novel by James Ellroy and directed by Brian De Palma I'm sure at the very least this movie will be decent if not excellent. By the way check out this site for all the crime scene photos etc.

Or maybe I'll see Gridiron Gang directed by the great Phil Joanou. Also based on a true story, it's great to see a movie come out that's not afraid to take chances. It's fresh and original and in no way resembles any sports and/or underdog movies that have ever come out. I'm guessing the plot outline goes something like this :

The true-life story of a coach who tries to teach his players that there's more to life than ~~basketball~~ football is brought to the screen in this sports drama. ~~Ken Carter~~ Sean Porter (The ROCK) was once a star player on the Richmond High School ~~basketball~~ football team in Richmond, CA, and years later he returns to ~~school~~ the prison as the new ~~basketball~~ football coach. While ~~Carter~~ Porter wants to make the ~~Richmond cagers~~ Mustangs into a winning team, he also wants a lot more — to teach the ~~boys~~ Gang Bangers and Murderers to respect themselves and one another, and that they must excel ~~in the classroom as well as~~ in the gymnasium. Under ~~Carter's~~ Porter's guidance, the team turns their losing season around, with the state title a genuine possibility. Etc Etc Etc....

Hey guess what? This week Fuck Face O'Neil and K Fag spit out another hunk of white trash. After debating what to call the kid they decided on Sutton Pierce. I can't even make a joke here because I feel horrible for this kid. Mark it now, another celebrity kid who doesn't have a chance at a normal life because his parents cared so much about him they named him something stupid.

Oh damn, just case you've been asking where all the good Sesame Street Metal Bands have gone, I give ye Cookie Monoloid.

I shit you not these guys are for real. The official band site says, "Cookie Mongoloid is Sesame Speed Metal. See the Cookie Mongoloid in all his blue, furry, googly-eyed glory backed by the baddest of gender mixed metal bands as they decimate and regurgitate your childhood favorites in an abrasive metal wrath."

Aight enjoy the weekend you
poor slobs.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Drummer Fight

Ok so I put a new poll up------>>

I'm thinking a straight up fight, no weapons no holds barred.
Here's what we got I'm guessing its around 1979, there's a record release party in London. Three gents are hanging around in a garden sipping some bubbly, one guy calls the other guy a fairy, someone says The Who's last album sucked. A fight breaks out...here's our contenders:

John Bonham

of Led Zeppelin fame. Known for his technical abilities and "feel for the groove." Considered the father of Hard Rock Drumming. Note, the guy was a construction worker. Pure power.

Keith Moon

of The Who. His uniquely organic, rolling, anarchic, flowingly controlled yet also out-of-control style remains an influence on popular music today. Note the guy was crazy :Moon's last words were: "If you don't like it, you can just fuck off" after asking his girlfriend to make him steak and eggs for breakfast.

Phil Collins

Drummer and lead singer of Genesis. Has a successful solo career. He sings, which is a plus, oh yeah and he's still alive.

Well who do you think would win in a fight?

With Mom's Like That...

Who needs a drug dealer?
I read this story about a Mother who rewarded her 13 year old son for doing his homework by giving him pot. She's been doing it since he was 11. Now at first I'm thinking this kid has hit the big time, but then I thought about it and this lady Amanda Lynn Livelsberger is a real jack ass. First of all you're not even giving this kid a chance. I'm sure his future isn't too bright in the first place being that he's from Pennsylvania, but was it really neccessary to cripple him before he crawled out of the cesspool of adolescence?

Here's the deal -- at 13 most people I know were miserable, but you have to get through that, even maybe a few years of high school before you realize it's all hopeless and then turn to drugs. Now this kid's already starting off with pot, wait until he get's his first pimple and gets shot down for the prom for the first time. Think he's going to hit a bong? hell no he's been doing that since he was 11, it'll be time for something really nice like some crack or china white.

Secondly, this mother obviously isn't too bright. I'm sure she's not hiding anything around the house. So I'm going to assume it was inevitable that the kid was going to do drugs at some point. Maybe take a whiff of mommies thin Lucky Strike, or a taste of momma's vicodins but to give him drugs as a reward is ridiculous. Drugs are expensive, kids are stupid, and if she really loved him she would have got him a hooker.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Into the Yard

Have you ever had the comfort of a familiar place come crashing down? It can be heartbreaking and depressing. That's the way I feel about the backyard. Once the proud site of many a party and countless doob sessions it's now in disrepair. Like a forgotten outpost it has been overrun by weeds and decay. Perhaps scientists and explorers in a future age will be able to decipher what happened to the backyard.

Before we even made it out to the backyard we found this. Deodorant in the freezer. There are many theories why it is there. Some plausible, others outrageous. Three things are for sure. One : it's been in there a while. Two : Someone ain't wearing deodorant. Three: That Corona is about to be snatched up by a 'Rican.

This is The Professor. He's thrilled to be on this expedition. Notice the once elegant swing, perhaps for lovers perhaps for cat piss. Many a summer night were spent on that swing during the heyday of chilling. Now it's sagging and withered. Notice the weeds and underbrush rising from the concrete. I needed my Deet Free Off Spray to go back there.

Yikes. A new character has been introduced in this story. "The Puddle." Could be Doe Estrus, could be Feline Urea or it could be stagnant rain water. Either way my ass isn't sitting there without a Hazmat suit. I've seen "The Puddle" before. Briefly last winter when it was frozen over. So you know through the thawing process any impurities have been removed and the fossilized remains of stoners are forever preserved inside of it. Not to mention mosquito larva and the origins of the West Nile Virus in the tri-state area. Notice how comfortably "The Puddle" rests on the bed of grass and poison ivy.

Exhibit B. Unknown remains wrapped in a severely weathered America Flag. Not sure what it is, but it smelled horrible and no one would touch it.

The Professor is back. This time displaying a seemingly well kept BBQ. I admit for something that's never been covered it looks to be in pretty good shape.

Wrong! Ok I was willing to look past the dirty grill and the dilapidated racks and the random pieces of metal inside. But, The Professor pointed out the heat shielding paint, surely of a toxic lead base to be peeling. His summation "Dude, we're fucking eating that shit. When we're cooking, that shits getting in our food."

Lastly the Lost Ark of the backyard. This is the case that holds all the cooking utensils. It's really quite a nice set. Gotten as a comp at Caesar's Palace. However, The Professor probed. Filled with mosquitoes and water it's safe to say we'll probably never use that set again. Damn shame too, the corn holders were spectacular.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Karate Chops

Taken from the NY Post

Steven Seagal can play the guitar nearly as well as he delivers a devastationg kick to the groin. The pony-tailed action star brags that no actor alive can match his skills on a six-string. "Kevin Bacon, Keanu Reeves, Russell Crowe, Kevin Costner -- they're not even in my universe." Seagal crows to Guitar World Acoustic Magazine. "You can't find another actor who can play guitar as good as me. It's the Truth." Seagal is promoting his new blues album, "Mojo Priest," which includes such standards as "Dust my Broom" and "Hoochie Koochie Man" as well as the self penned tune, "Talk To My Ass."

Ok this is legit I'm not making this up. Apparantly Seagal lives in his own universe, Segalis Andromeda, which is what I always suspected. And no actor alive can play as well as he can. And if there was an actor alive that could play guitar better Steven Seagal has killed them. Lets hope Chuck Norris doesn't decide to play guitar.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Summer Vacation

Wow, they go quickly now don't they? I mean without school to keep these months in perspective summer kind of gets lost in the mix. Nowadays June through September is more of a mental vacation, a state of mind...here's what I learned this time around.

You can take a trip without leaving your house. Shit, you can take a trip without leaving your sofa. I thank DDMV and King Phillip for this.

Most summer blockbusters are forgettable. I know I saw most of them this year but I can't recall what they are. Police Academy 1 through 4 however is burned in my mind forever.

That first day ages ago when you left the house with no jacket on was magical. I myself thought I'd never forget it. I've forgotten it already and the days are getting shorter again.

Eczema Dihidrosis sucks. I would never wish it on anyone. It robbed me of a month of my life. And not just any month, but a summer month.

Insurance plans suck. Prescriptions cost more than I make. And little jars of cream are actually filled with gold. They must be because they're so damn expensive.

Heart attacks are good for missing a few days of work and that's about all.
Hospitals, which can be eerily quiet are the hardest places to sleep in.
Also, my gown was open in the back the whole time, and though I enjoyed the breeze, the staff did not enjoy the view.

Friends. Friends you may have forgotten about or taken for granted will visit you in a hospitals. Others will not. Enough about hospitals.

I learned Bukowski is my favorite author. Mainly because of prose like this :
after you've pulled off the tablecloth with
the full plate of food
and broken the windows
and rung the bells of
idiots
and have
spoken true and terrible
words
and have
chased the mob through the
doorway--
then comes the great and
peaceful moment: sitting alone
and
pouring that quiet drink.

The world is better without
them.

only the plants and the animals are
true comrades.

I drink to them and with
them.

they wait as I fill their glasses.

**Over the summer I passed this knowledge to a ticket taker at a theater. I hope he never forgets it. I hope he looks up Bukowski**

Teenagers are idiots. Especially the ones that take the air out of your car tires.

Love can be whimsical, love is ephemeral. Love can be permanent, love is dangerous. Love is summer, love is fear in the winter. Love is still problematic for me.
Love knocks me
D
O
W
N

That's about as poetic as I get.

Most people with Rv's and Mobile Homes tow Saturns. Why?

Wilco, Loose Fur, Golden Smog, Uncle Tupelo and Sunvolt are all connected and they're all awesome.

When you rent a house somewhere you've never been before with your best friends it's hard to not have a good time. Even if you sit inside playing video games. Let the steak air out son.

Most cities don't compare to New York. I'm sorry, it's true and I've been testing it out.

However, Baltimore is the only place in the world I've been where I've seen a beautiful girl on the street and then seen her naked a short while later.

Free Concerts = Free Swag

In some circles, I have the smallest hips possible.

Myspace doesn't work for me, but sometimes some people can find true love.

I've learned I'm too young to be a curmudgeon.

If you eat your lunch in an empty office you can hear what your coworkers say about you. And, if you read their emails you can find out who is pregnant.

I can't row a boat to save my life. Come to think of it, I can't row a boat to save the lives of others.

Rain, cops and bench tickets have the potential to ruin a camping trip, but if I lighten up things aren't so bad.

Soup is a meal. And I can probably eat more of it than most people.

If she's wearing a giant plastic rainbow ring, she's a lesbian. Trust me.

Sometimes, things with an ex aren't as cool or as far back in your mind as you would like to think. Especially when they hate you.

To thy own self be true. Or, at the very least be as true as you can to the ideals that the most important person in your life has set for you.

If you see something, say something. If you wait it may be too late. Or worse, no one may be listening.

Some old friends are like herpes they never go away. First they stalk you in their Monte Carlo then they ambush you at the barber shop.

If I had to shit or get off the pot, I'd probably get off the pot.

My sister can never seem to buy me t shirts that fit. Hrmpphhh.

If someone says they're going upstairs to "find a shirt" or "take a shit", chances are they're going to bed and they're done for the rest of the night.

I like storms. I like to stay up during a storm.

I asked my mom what she thought of the summer, she said it was a terrible summer. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. She was a fan of the croc hunter.

I'm Back...and other empty Promises

Greetings. The summer is over. I've been up all night, and most of the day (except when work got in the way) and you'll be pleased to know that I'm working on updating all sites in the rexojunkies family. New blog updates are on their way. I've read more books that haven't made it up here and I've learned all sorts of new shit, like don't ever taunt a hungry pitbull. Can't wait to drop some knowledge. Stay tuned.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

SHOGUN ?!?

Well here's the next book I started to read, over a 1000 pages of samurai ass kicking. But alas just as it started getting good, I've been interrupted by the newly formed book club. So I have a feeling I may have to but this epic on the back burner for a bit.
Blackthorne is an English Pilot commanding a Dutch crew, who's actions boarder on piracy. P.S. he has a stolen Portuguese Rutter ( a stolen journal detailing sailing routes) and winds up in Japan. Washed up on the shore he becomes a prisoner of the Samurai. They treat him well and hook him up with some geisha girls. But they also piss on him, and cook one of his crewmen in a giant pot. There are some beheadings, and some loin clothes.
Well I'm only about 200 pages into this but I'll be starting Rabbit Run by John Updike as soon as it comes in the mail (it's the first book for the bookclub).

Book # 11 The Godfather By Mario Puzo

Hey you still there? I forgot to add this book on here.

Yeah, forget what you saw in the movies, as usual the book was better. Visceral, real and a dynamic study of family, whatever the term may mean. Give it a read and see why Luca Brasi got such a bad rep. Learn how you shit yourself and loose all control of body function when you're being strangled to death. Long beach, who would have known?

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Steven Seagal : Rock Star

"Steven Seagal - In the midst of a face melting solo"

I've been inspired. Inspired to learn everything possible about Steven Seagal. And not only will I quench my own thirst for everything Seagal, but I will pass along my findings to you. For instance, this past weekend whilst passing by B.B. Kings we saw this. A schedule for an upcoming show featuring Steven Segal, the guitar player, and his band ThunderBox. My mind has been blown. Finally after years of proclaiming "Steven Seagal Rocks" I have evidence that he really does. So please join me in seeing Steven Seagal and ThunderBox at B.B. King's. At the end of the show Steven Seagal will break your wrist and then sign the cast (Must provide your own sharpie).

Many might not know in addition to acting and aikido, Seagal also plays the guitar, and his songs have been featured in several of his movies (such as Fire Down Below and Ticker). In 2005, he released his first album, Songs from the Crystal Cave, which has a mix of pop, world, and blues music. And apparently it was hugh in France, where Steven Seagal is considered a God. It also features duets with the acclaimed songwriter to the stars Tony Rebel, Recording Legend Lt. Stichie, 1953 Broadway Starlett of the Year Lady Saw, and Stevie Wonder the Blind Guy. One of his album tracks, "Girl It's Alright," was released as a single in parts of the world and has been made into a music video, which was allegedly responsible for four shooting deaths and a castration in Camden, NJ. The soundtrack to Seagal's 2005 film Into the Sun features several songs from the album. It went straight to video.
In 2006, Seagal is set to release a second album, titled Mojo Priest, which will be released in April. In addition, in a move not seen with Songs from the Crystal Cave, Seagal has an extensive U.S. and international tour scheduled as well as a series of shows scheduled in smaller venus to to display his Aikido guitar persona. Seagal explains through telekinesis, "The stage crew set up some tapestries and Persian rugs. We have zen gardens and a natural Bamboo habitat on stage so the audience really feels they're in my retreat."

shortly after this picture was taken, Steven Seagal broke the cameraman's neck and tore Carrot Top's arms off of his body. "I asked him several times not to invade my personal aura boundary" commented Seagal after the incident. This photograph clearly shows Mr. Top taunting Steven.

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