Ghetto Fried Chicken

The Fast Food Hierarchy of Ghetto Fried Chicken :

It's a simple chart to follow. There are the big four.

1 .
KFC - The Granddaddy of them all. Formed during the Great depression the first actual outlet was opened in 1952. This is most reputable of the fried chicken joints. They officially changed their name to KFC in 1991 in an attempt to move away from the bad connotation of "Fried" and because their menu was continuing to expand beyond chicken. Also, KFC is a lot easier to spell and say. Col. Harland Sanders isn't such a bad guy. He wanted to bring chicken to the masses.Currently I believe Pepsico owns KFC. Found in the cities and the burbs there is very little risk in going to a KFC. I recommend the sides. However, just so you know it has some ghetto credentials there has been controversy surrounding the chain. PETA in conjunction with Pamela Anderson are constantly downing on the Col. and his secret recipes. But overall its not so bad, and it's huge in China.

My favorite tidbit : Japanese baseball team Hanshin Tigers is thought to be under the Curse of the Colonel, a curse coming from when an enthusiastic fan threw a store-front statue of Colonel Sanders into a local canal during a celebration for the Tigers victory in the 1985 Japan Series. The curse says that the Tigers will not win again until the statue is recovered.

2.

Ok now we're getting a little more ghetto. Church's chicken is sold out of the back door of White Castle. At least where I'm from. Their food has an asshole avalanche factor of about a three. It may feel the good at the moment of consumption but by the next morning you'll be clutching your ankles and praying to a merciful god. Put it this way their signature sauce is called "Purple Pepper Sauce." And for dessert you can get a fried apple pie. Yeah, they fry everything. How do you know its ghetto? Well in Puerto Rico alone, there are over 70 restaurants on the island. Still not ghetto enough, it's owned by Arcapita an Islamic venture group. The president? Hala Moddelmog. As of last year their murder per restaurant was down 17% for about 1 per every three outlets. But they have a really
slick website.

3. Popeye's, a close second to Church's. Formed in New Orleans you know it's got some ghetto charm. Debates rage if it named after the loveable std ridden sailor or the heroin addicted Popeye Doyle from the French Connection 2. They go with the more Cajun feel to their chicken and your ass will not be thankful. Once, stuck in a bad neighborhood after a concert I had some Popeye's. Asshole avalanche factor of a 6. I was on the throne immediately after getting off the subway. Highlights of the menu include the Crawfish Po-boy, and their Mardi Gras cheesecake which looks like someone ground up the Joker and sprinkled over some toilet paper cheesecake. In 2005, a Popeye's was mistaken for a liquor/check cashing store and was held up thrice in the same night. Don't forget to check out the site where you can get free ring tones. Seafood man, they serve "seafood."

4.
Kennedy Fried Chicken. Straight up, I've bought drugs in Kennedy Fried Chicken.
I've seen two rapes, several assaults, one baby birth and a dead homeless guy at the KenFC in Coney Island. Here's what I found out about it :

Kennedy Fried Chicken is the name for many restaurants in the New York City area and elsewhere in the northeastern United States that are located mostly in inner city neighborhoods. The restaurants which traditionally are owned and operated by immigrants from Afghanistan are not formally connected although their menus and prices are similar. This lack of centralized control has posed problems for Kentucky Fried Chicken which since the 1990s has tried to enforce trademark rules against the restaurants which often use the KFC abbreviation and have been known to decorate their restaurants in red and white colors, similar to Kentucky Fried Chicken's logo. Food at many of the inner city restaurants is served from behind bulletproof glass. Its specialties are its deep fried chicken (described as "not too dry or too soggy") as well as burgers, hot wings, ice cream and sweet potato pies. Given its inner city roots, chicken and food is quite often ordered ala carte one piece at a time. Kennedy's has an asshole avalanche factor of a 10+. instantaneous greased up owl shit searing through your intestines. I recommend the one in Coney Island. It features an abandoned donut shop area with petrified pastries, perpetual garbage swirling around your feet and everything is bolted down. Everything. You ain't in the ghetto unless you got a Kennedy's Fried Chicke