Ok so here's some facts you may not know about the legend known as Steven Seagal.
1. When not destroying puny mortals, he impersonates a priest and heals sick children.
2. One day a year he flies around the world in a single night delivering devastating body blows and black eyes to evil doers as they sleep.
3. He donates his free time, rather he kicks the ass of his free time into submission, by helping the elderly and afflicted.
4.If Steven Seagal fixes his gaze upon you for more three seconds you better thank him and move out of his way or else you only have 2 more seconds until your heart implodes.
5.Steven Seagal's armpits contain a poison gas that his appendix produces called Segalafoxicin that renders foes dazed and bloody.
6.Steven Seagal uses the martial arts technique of "looky here" before he strikes you with a devastating open palm attack known as a biff.
7.Steven Seagal stays healthy by eating a diet of wicked souls and grubs.
8.Steven Seagal does not like to be side eyed. Especially while driving.
9.Steven Seagal is sympathetic to the blind. He encourages blind children to toughen up and will themselves to see again.
10.Steven Seagal Loves Mardi Gras !
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