Finally.

A lot of people have been asking me lately how the Tribeca Film Festival has gone, and while I haven't been giving it much thought --as evident by getting stoned and drunk all weekend-- I have decided to present some examples of the triumph in organization that is the Tribeca Film Festival.

Here, in chronological order, are some emails of the festival trying to get their shit together and organize their volunteers. Sadly, we lost a lot of good men due to the lack of organization. Keep in mind the festival started April 26th.

Wednesday April 12

Volunteers,
Please read the letter below. If you haven't already gotten your volunteer assignment, you will within the next week.

Thanks for your interest in the festival.
Best,
Deborah Lupard Volunteer Manager Tribeca Film Festival

Friday April 21

Hello Volunteer!
If you've returned your form to me, then I'm looking forward to meeting you this Saturday, April 22, at your scheduled meeting time at the Tribeca Cinemas, which is located at 54 Varick Street. This is the required Screenings Department orientation session. You will receive your schedule at tomorrow's meeting.


Sunday April 23

I'm sorry for the delay in handing out schedules. The huge attendence at yesterday's meeting made it impossible, because of limitations in both time and space, to hand out schedules individually. And I'm also sorry if you heard conflicting information about how and when schedules will be distributed. Schedules will be emailed out individually by the end of the day tomorrow. (Or you will be called if you've indicated you'd rather not be communicated with by email.) As sending out these to all six-hundred of you is a time-consuming task, I may not be able to address your emails or phone calls questions until Tuesday. Please be patient!
Thanks again, in advance, for everything. I hope you're all gearing to work hard, have fun, and see a lot of movies!
Thanks, Miriam

**At this point it's getting really fucking annoying because they have you jumping through hoops going to meetings (glorified pep rallies) with only a few days before the festival. Oh yeah, and still no fucking schedule of when you're supposed to show up.

Tuesday April 25 **the day before the festival starts**

Hello Screenings Volunteers,
As some of you may know, I have been working all through the night, and all through the weekend, in order to individually send to you and then work out your schedule for the festival (which begins public screenings tomorrow.) And, not surprisingly, I've fallen ill with a cold. I continue to work on getting out your schedules, though, and of working out any very immediate conflicts you may have. If you haven't heard from me yet, be sure that you will very soon.

**yeah still no fucking schedule.

Here's a schedule they emailed me of when the hip and awesome, place to collect your thoughts in the midst of a hectic film festival, lounge will be open.

Lounge Hours:
Saturday: 3:30pm -- 5:00pm
Sunday: LOUNGE CLOSED
Monday: 10:00am -- 5:00pm
Tuesday: 10:00am -- 5:00pm
Wednesday: 10:00am -- 5:00pm
Thursday: 10:00am -- 2:00pm
Friday: LOUNGE CLOSED
Saturday: LOUNGE CLOSED
Sunday: LOUNGE CLOSED

talk about shitty hours.

Sunday April 30th *things get desperate.

If you are not yet scheduled to work as much as you'd like, then at this point it is a grave oversight for which I apologize. Please contact me right way. Because of the number of cancellations we've experienced, I now feel comfortable overscheduling for every shift, and we continue to be short during most dayime shifts, so I can and would like to schedule you for almost any shift you've like to work

Morale of this story. They totally fucked up a good thing. They spoiled a wet dream. They took something I (and I'm sure many others) was gung ho about and basically aborted it with a hanger in their Tia Marie's bathtub.

Moving to more current events. This weekend took it easy relaxed decided to stay in Friday night. That was until James instant messaged me at like 2am wanting to meet up to smoke a blunt. So like the waste I am I gave him some words of encouragement "the difficult things we do, the impossible take a little bit longer." A half hour later we were roaming the streets getting high. Stopped off at the Space Station (the gas station) and were on our merry way.

Saturday, all psyched to go play some softball. Get to prospect park and it's over run by little league fuckers. Yeah like if you really need social validation and lack structure at 9 years old you're destined to fail you little shits. So suck it in, and get the fuck off the diamonds so the elders can play. The worst part is you can't even bully them because they have permits. Fucking permits.
Afterwards met up with some peeps and watched the Lakers get shat on. Went to PJ Hanleys and basked in the Kareoke experience. There were a few hot girls there. Hot until they opened their mouths. Banshee shrills to the stop the face on a clock. Afterwards me and Fogues did a tag team Towers of Power pub crawl on Court and Smith streets. Hi I'm Troy McClure and you may remember me from such bars as Adeline, Zombie Lounge, Ceol and the Brazen Head. Thanks unknown black dude from B'Hurts that bought us some shots.
Amazingly, not much of a hangover on Sunday morning.