Vinny Got Game #1

A new series about the man that needs no introduction...

Bay Ridge. 5th Avenue Festival. 2005. Vinny gets sloshed, comes home dressed up in American flags like he's a vet in some parade. The bandana around his head has bled it's life giving dye onto his forehead. He doesn't realize this, nor does he care. Then it starts. "Yooooo I got at least 30 numbers tonight (of course this number would fluctuate as his story went on)." Vinny goes off to the corner to "call one of these bitches right now," that's when we mute the TV. Baby Talk. That's the game he spits. I've seen it before but now I've really had it. Here is a 31 year old man, trying to use baby talk to get a grown woman to come back to his place. We laugh as he baby talks over the phone. He goes from bumbling Casanova to deflated divorcee. It reminds me of the episode of the Simpsons when Bart points out the exact moment at which Lisa breaks Ralph Wiggums heart. Vinny's baby talking ends, and he sounds like a defeated, sorry adult.

Finally, hours later we ask as a collective "Vinny, what the hell is what the baby talk?" He proceeds to try to convince us that he's used it in the past and it works. We laugh, then fall silent as I query "Name one girl it's ever worked on."

Silence.

Vinny got game, Nahhh Vinny got Baby Talk.