If You Like ____, Try Me!

Razors, cologne, toothpaste, and now a bottle of mouthwash. To name a few, these are the things that have 'walked' out of my room. Not to mention expensive bottles of medicated shampoo that emptied themselves mysteriously when I made the mistake of leaving them in the bathroom. Living at home is a trip and I accept this, my parents are cool and we keep our lives pretty separate. I occasionally interact with them around entry and exit ways when there's a bottleneck, and associate with them during feeding periods. But, they love to use my shit with Blatant disregard of reciprocity, usufruct, or replacement.

Cheap razors, ten for two dollars. That's what my father uses. Of course, that's not when he's stealing my mach 3's or sensor excels. A few years ago my father told me how he hated shaving gels, and loved his 'foam.' Yeah, I made the mistake of thinking my Edge gel was safe in the medicine chest. But alas, he used it. And when I complained, he replaced it with some cheap CVS shit, that wasn't quite right. And of course there's the can of gel he takes with him when he travels. Uh hey, that's my can.

Mouthwash. Pathmark or Costco brand. So putrid it does more than just burn your mouth, it causes temporary blindness. I don't like spending 4 bucks on a tiny bottle of the expensive stuff, but hey, it really is better than the no frills. Of course my nice bottle of listerine slowly disappears whilst the mega bottle of Costco swill sits untouched in the bathroom. I now mark any bottles in a liquid like a paranoid parent would mark their liquor bottles in a basement bar. Top shelf mouthwash. This is how mind games in a family setting operate.

Anyway, there is a ton more stuff I could list from Oatios (Cheerios), to Fabric Scents (Fabreeze), and Pyrithione Zinc (Head and Shoulders) that my parents sneak in while they steal my stuff, but I'm feeling kind of woozie. Peace out suckas.